Month: November 2017

“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God:”

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Over the past month we have examined the idea of rest and sabbath.  I hope these posts have provoked you to examine the importance of rest in your own life.

Today I want to leave you with a few practical ways to begin implementing regular period of rest into your week.

D.L. Moody said, “Think of men devoting six days a week to their body, which will soon pass away, and begrudging one day to the soul, which will live on and on forever!”

In order to make time for rest, we are going to have to make it a priority.  Our calendars may feel squeezed when we begin to push things aside to create white space, but when our minds are grounded in the understanding of our need for rest, the white space becomes as necessary as the air we breathe.

“But you just don’t understand my schedule, there is no time to give!”  

We are called to be stewards of the resources God has given us: time, money, abilities and resources.  As a young child I was taught to tithe at least ten percent of my money to God through the local church.  The message of tithing is clear: Give God a percentage and trust Him as you live on the rest.

Sabbath is the same principle.  As we carve out spaces on our calendar, we are in essence saying, “God, I don’t feel like I have this time to give, but I trust You.”  When we push frantically through our days, we are in danger of believing that everything depends on us.  But the weight of accomplishment is a heavy burden to carry.

For our families, this requires being careful with what we put on the calendar.  We need to prayerfully consider each commitment we make.  There are many good things, but too many good things will wear us out and stretch our families thin.

With kids this can be difficult.  Our oldest would be involved in gymnastics, dance, choir, piano, guitar, swimming, volleyball, Awana, theater and youth group all in one season if we let her.  As parents, we need to resist the urge to fill our kids schedules.  They need time to be kids and they often need us to say no for the sake of the rest of the family.

We need to do the same with our schedules.  If we say yes to every volunteer or work opportunity presented to us, without praying about and talking with our spouse, we will stretch our families to the breaking point.  No volunteer or work opportunity is worth giving our spouse and our kids our leftover, burnt out selves every day.

As moms, we are especially susceptible.  I’m guilty of what Shauna Niequist calls “fake resting.”  Fake resting is when everyone around you is watching a movie or taking a nap and yet you try to accomplish tasks while appearing to rest.  Whether it’s folding laundry, making a grocery list or writing lesson plans for the week – I always found a way to keep working.  I didn’t have time to rest.  None of these tasks are wrong and busy parents certainly always have to do lists piled high of worthy and necessary things, but at the heart for me has always been a frantic drive to accomplish the list. At the core of this frantic feeling for me is pride.   I never considered setting the list aside and trusting God with my time.  I felt like I needed to control my time.  I believed I could do it all.  I could do the whole list and when I was done people would love and admire me for my ability to do it.  This attitude could not be further from the call of our Savior to come rest at His feet, abide in Him and experience His abundant life.

For me, learning to rest is about learning to trust God.  To learn to sit in His unconditional love.  To bask in the idea that I am loved and accepted unconditionally, no matter what I accomplish.

God is many things – strong, loving, all-knowing, good, just and holy.  No part of his character is frantic or frustrated.  Learning to trade our frantic, tiring struggle for His joyous, abundant, peace-centered life is the Christian life in a nut shell.

He knows we need rest.  He knows we need Him. He is REST.

So what does this look like in our lives?

1 .   Personal Devotional Time

As believers, we have to spend time daily in the Word and in prayer.  It is our lifeline.  We cannot have a relationship with the Lord without regular, purposeful time together.

My friend put it like this: each day I give the Lord “couch time,” just like I do my husband when he comes in from work.  A short time (15-30) minutes a day getting to know Him through prayer and the Word.  Then once a week, we have a “date” – a longer period, 2-3 hours when I go for a walk or find a quiet spot in the park or the woods to have an extended period of time worshiping, listening, studying and meditating on the Word.

2. Family Devotional Time

As parents, we need to have regular times around the Word with our children.  We cannot simply send them to Sunday School or church, leaving their spiritual instruction in the hands of someone else.  As parents, this is our responsibility – our highest calling with our kids.

This will look different for every family.

In our family, my husband is typically gone before we get up, so the kids and I read scripture and do a short devotion together.  Sometimes, the older girls do a devotion on their own.  We want this to become a habit in their lives so that as they get older, it will be a natural part of their day.  Then once a week we have a family devotion time, normally on Friday nights.

3.  Family Nights

We have recently implemented Friday nights as family night.  Each member of the family takes a turn planning the activities and menu for the night.  This time includes our family devotion time, but it is also a time of rest.  Chad and I are not allowed to do any work.  No emails, no laundry, no cleaning.  We have dance parties, sing, play games, make art projects and snuggle up to read stories.

Maybe for you it’s not a family night.  Maybe it’s mandatory nap time on Sunday afternoon.  Maybe it’s taking Saturday night to prepare for worship the next day.

4. Serving Others

As a family, we look for opportunities serve our community – volunteering at food pantry or shelter, visiting folks in a nursing home, etc.. We want our kids to learn at an early age the joy of serving others, not expecting anything in return.

 

In the end, rest is not about being lazy.  It is not about saying no to things God has called us to do.  He has called us to labor in the fields and we should be tired at the end of the day.  But let us all remember His call to rest.  Let’s be a Mary that sets aside the list to sit at the feet of our Savior.  Let’s be parents that wisely manage our calendars and our schedules, taking time to look into the faces of the precious children He has entrusted us with.   Let’s release the frantic need to do it all and trade our striving for His abundant life.

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“You just need a little me time.”
“You just need to get away and get some time to yourself.”

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Has anyone ever said something like that to you?  Has it resonated?  Maybe you ignore it and press on, convinced that you are too busy.  Or maybe “me time” is more like your mantra – a way of life, something that you have earned.

Next week we will wrap up our look at rest and Sabbath with some practical ideas for how to implement regular periods of rest and reflection in your own life.

Today I want to just take a moment to look at this popular term “Me Time” and the place it has in the life of a believer.

To recap, we need three types of rest:

1. Physical rest and sleep to restore our bodies.
2. Rest and relaxation from stress and responsibilities to refresh our minds.
3. Rest to restore and renew our souls.

The first is non-negotiable.  Our bodies can function on little sleep, but our bodies and minds quickly break down if we don’t give our bodies adequate sleep.  Conversely, our minds can increase cognitive ability significantly when we get the physical rest we need.

Our society places high value on number two – vacation, hobbies, leisure time.

Number three is the rest promised in Matthew 11:28. It’s the rest that Jesus promises; the only source of true rest for our souls.

So what’s the connection between these ideas?

Me Time is defined as time spent relaxing on one’s own as opposed to working or doing things for others, seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy.

The idea of me time sounds great on the surface.  As a busy army wife, homeschooling mom of four, there is a nature pull toward “me time.” A pull toward doing things for myself – a spa day, mani/pedis with a friend, going to the gym or quiet cup of coffee.  Some may go bigger – girls weekends, hobbies, careers.  Our society constantly tells us that in order to feel rested and refreshed, we need time to ourselves.  Many advertising messages assert a subtle step forward – “you’ve earned it.”

As Christian women we need to carefully examine these messages that bombard us.  While these things can certainly have their place in our lives as believers (who doesn’t love pretty toe nails?), they fall short in replenishing our souls with what we need most.

The illusion of me time is a promise that the more we focus on ourselves, the happier we will be.  Don’t miss this: that premise is false.  It is a slippery slope to self-focus and selfishness.  Romans 7:18 Paul said, “In my flesh dwelleth no good thing.”

If we seek out times to focus on ourselves, believing that we will find rest and renewal within ourselves, we are believing a lie.  The more we focus on ourselves the more we think about ourselves.

It’s like going to Target.  Who comes out of Target with the one thing they went in intending to get?  Seriously.  We didn’t know we needed it, until it jumped in our red cart.  The more you go to Target, the more you realize you need from Target.

The more we focus on ourselves, the more we will focus on ourselves and the less we will focus on those around us.

Over and over Scripture urges us to die to self (Titus 2:12, Gal 2:20; 5:24, Rom. 12:1-2). In Luke 9:23 Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.”

But as with so many things, the economy of God works completely opposite to the economy of the world.

Philippians 2:3-4 instructs us to put others above ourselves.

If you are a parent, you already know this.  Once upon a time Christmas morning was all about us, but what joy to see Christmas through the eyes of a child.  In Acts 20:35, Paul reminds of the words of Jesus, “It is more blessed to give than to receive”

As a mom, this can play out in the smallest of circumstances for me.  If I’m making dinner and my kids are tearing the house apart, instead of trying to just keep them quiet or entertained, I can bring them close and have them help me.  This does not always work out beautifully, I’ll admit…but more often than not, the joy they can experience helping far outweighs the “peace” I would have experience by pushing them away.

Feeling stressed or overwhelmed?  Volunteer one day a month at a boys and girls club, a nursing home or a homeless shelter and see if it shifts your focus.

So, should we cancel our vacations and girls’ weekends and spa days?  No, these things can certainly fall within the realm of renewing and refreshing our souls.  They can allow us time to connect with others and encourage each other.  We do need to be vigilant against the sublet lie of the enemy that focusing on ourselves will bring joy and happiness.  However, as a whole, we could probably stand to focus on others more and ourselves less, trusting that when we give of ourselves, we will find the rest and joy from a deeper source.

How could you focus on someone else today?

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