Parenting has always given me a run for my money. I remember one of those “only one of us is going to make it out of this” days as a first time (and pregnant) mom of a determined two-year-old. I watched out the front door for the sight of my husband’s car. As it rounded the corner, I grabbed my keys, waved and called, “I’ll be back,” over my shoulder as I passed him in the driveway. I needed out of the house.
Where was I going in my rage of desperation? Starbucks run? Nope. Retail therapy at Target? Not this time. Baskin Robbins? (I was pregnant, remember?) Unfortunately, I probably didn’t think of that. No, I found myself standing where many flustered parents had probably stood before me – in the parenting aisle of the local Christian bookstore. I stood there, tears streaming down my face, an arm full of books, talking to my mom on the phone. “Mom, you don’t understand, this is impossible! I have no idea what to do with her!” I’m sure my mom had to stifle her chuckles to console me.
If you’ve been a mom for more than a few minutes, my guess is that you have had similar moments, and while maybe yours didn’t lead you clear the shelves at Lifeway, we have all stood in need of wisdom from others in the monumental task of raising little people.
In James 1:5, the Lord promises to give wisdom to those that ask. Wisdom isn’t knowledge. Wisdom is the ability to take knowledge and apply it to daily life. Parenting today is a complex, difficult task and we desperately need the ability God promises to take His truth and apply to our lives, our parenting and impart it to our kids. As parents we cannot hope to pass on love, wisdom, hope or joy to our children without being in the Word for ourselves. Every answer we need is there and we have a God that has promised us wisdom as we seek Him. There is just no substitute for it.
Proverbs however, makes it clear that gleaning wisdom from others is a worthwhile effort, and while more parenting books is not always the answer, there are some valuable resources that can help us parents. Here are my top five. (I am sensitive to the fact that I have the gift of extra time because we homeschool. Take this list as a buffet of ideas, knowing that many of these could easily be worked into your weekly routine before school, in the car or on the weekends.)
Honorable Mention – Babywise. You knew I couldn’t skip it…just didn’t have enough numbers for it this time. Bottom line – babies and mamas need to sleep. It works. Promise.
- What’s in the Bible DVD Series – “Kids aren’t opposed to learning, they are opposed to boring” said Phil Vischer, the creator of Veggietales, who does such an amazing job with this series, giving kids (and adults!) a fantastic overview of the Bible. Instead of highlighting just the popular stories, like Noah’s ark and David and Goliath, Phil Vischer weaves every book around the story of God’s Rescue Plan – Jesus. They also learn things like how the books of the Bible are organized (history, poetry, prophets, etc…), giving them a rich, broad view of God’s Word. There are thirteen DVDs, each with two episodes. This series is a great addition for any family. They also have a streaming service if you don’t want to buy the dvds.
- 2. Passport to Purity – We need to talk to our kids about sex. Period. Our culture’s view of sexuality is so distorted and as believers, we need much more than a slew of opinions on Facebook about the Super Bowl Half-time Show to guide our children in truth in this area. Passport to Purity is a weekend curriculum for preteens to guide parents in this important discussion. During the weekend getaway, there are five pre-recorded sessions that you listen to together, structured around questions and answer sessions, projects and free-time together. There are a few sessions designed specifically for guys and girls, but both are included in the curriculum. As I’ve started these weekends with our children, I can tell you they have been an incredible gift. Our conversations are open, honest and based on truth. Our kids don’t need us to have all the answers or to have a squeaky clean past ourselves, they simply need parents who are willing to take time to build relationships in which meaningful conversations can be cultivated. We want our children to come to us with these questions and they won’t if we don’t open the door. I cannot recommend this resource enough. The weekend away doesn’t have to be extravagant, but is a worthwhile investment.
- 3. Apologia’s What We Believe Series – According to a Barna study, 59% of young people raised in church will disconnect by age 15, with many never returning.[1] As parents, we cannot send our kids to Sunday School and hope they stick with it. We have to be intentional in discipling our kids. We need to give them not only the foundational beliefs, but teach them how to wrestle with their faith. This series of book has not only walked through foundational doctrinal beliefs, but has provided meaningful discussions to help us think through tough questions together. It is a four-part series: Who is God, Who Am I, Who is My Neighbor, What on Earth Can I Do? There is also a companion notebook for each textbook, but you can easily just talk through the questions with your children or have them answer questions in their own notebook. It is valuable material for any age, but our girls really start engaging with the questions starting in about 4th grade.
- 4. Dave Ramey’s Foundations in Personal Finance: Middle School Edition – Addison and I just started this series together and it is fantastic. Imagine if your kids walked into adulthood grounded in their faith, sexually pure and debt free. While there is certainly no plug and play formula for perfect kids or adults, we DO have the tools to equip them with the knowledge that they CAN avoid many common pitfalls. Our kids need to know how to handle money and what the Bible says about it. This curriculum is labeled for homeschooler, but anyone could use it. The lessons are short (10-15 minutes), super practical and engaging. Even my “I would rather do anything other than school” thirteen-year-old says they are fun. There is also a high school edition that goes a little more in-depth if your kids are older.
- 5. Lies Girls Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free– My girls and I studied this book together with a small group last summer. I have found that we go back to the principles laid out in this book again and again. It has been a valuable tool to teach us to identify lies that they are believing and begin the process of uprooting them and replacing them with God’s truth. This book is geared toward preteens, but there is a whole series of these books, including one for teen girls and one for women.
I am far from a perfect mom. Please don’t read this list and walk away with that. Parenting is the most humbling job and we all need God’s wisdom to do it well. We don’t want cookie cutter kids. We want kids that want to know God for themselves and have a clear view of what He wants them to do. Our job is just to give them tools along the way to help them do that. What are some of your favorite parenting tools?
[1] https://www.barna.com/research/six-reasons-young-christians-leave-church/