This is my sixth and final article in my Homeschooling 101 Series. Catch up on earlier posts about the decision to homeschool, choosing curriculum, planning and organization, juggling multiple ages and establishing a purposeful morning routine.
The purpose of these posts is to answer your questions! If you still have questions after reading these articles, please send me a message. I’m happy to help!
I often get a little jealous of an octopus and think if I just had a few more arms, maybe I could balance all the demands of the day with a bit more grace! Whether you homeschool or not, all parents face the reality of juggling multiple hats and responsibilities. We are already moms, wives, taxi drivers, cooks, cleaners and accountants. Throw homeschooling into the routine and now we are teachers, principals, guidance counselors, day care workers and hall monitors. If that weren’t enough, many of us have to balance a job we get paid for on top of everything else.
Whether you are homeschooling temporarily and trying to figure out how to balance your job and teaching or you stay at home full time, there will always be demands on your time outside of the classroom. It is never a perfect or an easy balance. Some days your work will suffer and sometimes your kids’ schoolwork will suffer. Always extend grace to yourself, knowing that it is not the individual days that will break a career or an education – it is the consistent day to day work that brings change in the long run.
Here are a few things that can help in figuring out the balance in your home and be a little more like the mama octopus.
- Count the Cost
Homeschooling your children takes a lot of time and effort. You have to be present and involved no matter how independent your curriculum. If your family has decided to homeschool, you need to ask yourself why you are working. You have to have a clear why for both or everyone will suffer. Our kids are young for a much shorter season than we realize and sometimes not working, choosing to live on one income or put our careers on hold, is the right answer.
2. Learn to Say No
The mantra of most moms today is “more is better.” More sports and activities for our kids is better. More curriculum is better. A bigger house is better. More workout sessions is better. More friends. More stuff. Just more.
More is not always better. Sometimes it’s just more. In order to teach our children well and meet our own personal work goals, we have to say no to other, often appealing, opportunities for ourselves and our children.
Nehemiah 6:3 is my key verse for this season of homeschool young children.
“And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, while I leave it, and come down to you?”
Nehemiah had a great work to do in rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. He had a short season of intense work that needed his undivided attention. He refused to become distracted and allow the work to suffer. The same is true for us. This season of raising kids is so short. Guard your calendar wisely and learn to say no to good things so you can say yes to the best things.
3. Set Work Hours
Each job is unique in its time requirements, but before choosing to hold a job and homeschool, it helps to clearly draw lines around which hours are for work, which hours are for school, which hours are for housework/errands/kids activities and which hours are for sleep and downtime. This will give you the freedom and accountability in your week to achieve the goals you have set. Having an established schedule of when you are going to work allows your family to anticipate your availability.
As I was writing my first book, I set aside Fridays and naptimes for my work hours. Without established hours to work, I would have either tried to work all the time or I would have neglected work as immediate needs popped up around me. During these established work hours, I literally ignored everything around me other than emergency needs for my kids. I ignored the pile of laundry. I ignored the mom guilt of not taking my kids to park. I knew in order to achieve the goal of writing my book, I had to focus on work. I also knew at other times during the week that I could focus on my family and housework because I would have time later in the week to attend to the work demands building throughout the week.
Even if you don’t have a traditional job, housework, errands and other demands can steal your attention away from teaching. A teacher in a classroom wouldn’t run to the grocery store in the middle of class, right? One of the beauties of homeschooling is the flexibility, but it can be helpful to establish a few hours where your kids have your undivided attention. For me it is in the morning. I put my phone down, ignore the house and focus on teaching until lunch. This is HARD for me and I don’t succeed every day, but it is beneficially for everyone when I submit my to do list to the needs of those around me.
4. Hire Help
Several years ago, I heard a veteran homeschooling mom at a homeschool conference say, “I am constantly amazed at young, often frazzled, homeschooling moms that think they can do it all. Here’s the truth – you cannot do it all and you certainly can’t do it all well.”
Hiring help is a wise investment for homeschooling families, especially ones with outside work commitments. There are jobs in my house that only I can do. No one can love my husband and my children for me. No one give me the joy I receive in teaching my child to read. No one can disciple my teenager. No one can write a book for me. However, someone CAN clean my toilets or cut my grass or play with my toddler.
Especially when your children are young, strongly consider hiring someone to help with whatever tasks take the most of your time and energy. Over the years I have hired house cleaners, yard guys, and part-time nannies. When I worked on Fridays, I hired a homeschool high schooler to come hang out with my kids and make lunch. I’ve hired a college age student to come play with my youngest three mornings a week to give me time to work with my oldest kids on school and write.
Even if you cannot afford a nanny or a house cleaner, consider swapping hours with another mom or family member.
5. Cultivate Independence in Your Kids
As parents we should be trying to work ourselves out of a job. Teaching our children to work independently is mutually beneficial for us and them. We need to give them opportunities to learn and grow outside of our reach, which can be a challenge if we are with them all the time. Making lunches, working on schoolwork independently, cleaning bathroom, and playing with younger siblings are all tangible ways that your children can give you time and space to work on things outside the classroom.
6. Establish a 4 Day School Week
Planning in a flex day each week is a great idea, whether you work from home or not. Younger students can easily get all their work done in four days and older students can work independently or plan their schedule to have a lighter day. Not teaching and supervising schoolwork can give you an opportunity for concentrated work hours.
This can totally depend on your kids though. Sometimes your kids need schoolwork to keep them busy, so do what works best for your family. For the most part, my kids entertain themselves and play well, so I only give them a few independent tasks for school on Fridays.
Our lives are better when we create margin. Our kids and our spouses will benefit from our efforts to prioritize tasks, ask for help where we need it and guard our time.
How do you balance work and chores in your homeschooling days?
