“You just need a little me time.”
“You just need to get away and get some time to yourself.”
Has anyone ever said something like that to you? Has it resonated? Maybe you ignore it and press on, convinced that you are too busy. Or maybe “me time” is more like your mantra – a way of life, something that you have earned.
Next week we will wrap up our look at rest and Sabbath with some practical ideas for how to implement regular periods of rest and reflection in your own life.
Today I want to just take a moment to look at this popular term “Me Time” and the place it has in the life of a believer.
To recap, we need three types of rest:
- Physical rest and sleep to restore our bodies.
- Rest and relaxation from stress and responsibilities to refresh our minds.
- Rest to restore and renew our souls.
The first is non-negotiable. Our bodies can function on little sleep, but our bodies and minds quickly break down if we don’t give our bodies adequate sleep. Conversely, our minds can increase cognitive ability significantly when we get the physical rest we need.
Our society places high value on number two – vacation, hobbies, leisure time.
Number three is the rest promised in Matthew 11:28. It’s the rest that Jesus promises; the only source of true rest for our souls.
So what’s the connection between these ideas?
Me Time is defined as time spent relaxing on one’s own as opposed to working or doing things for others, seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy.
The idea of me time sounds great on the surface. As a busy army wife, homeschooling mom of four, there is a nature pull toward “me time.” A pull toward doing things for myself – a spa day, mani/pedis with a friend, going to the gym or quiet cup of coffee. Some may go bigger – girls weekends, hobbies, careers. Our society constantly tells us that in order to feel rested and refreshed, we need time to ourselves. Many advertising messages assert a subtle step forward – “you’ve earned it.”
As Christian women we need to carefully examine these messages that bombard us. While these things can certainly have their place in our lives as believers (who doesn’t love pretty toe nails?), they fall short in replenishing our souls with what we need most.
The illusion of me time is a promise that the more we focus on ourselves, the happier we will be. Don’t miss this: that premise is false. It is a slippery slope to self-focus and selfishness. Romans 7:18 Paul said, “In my flesh dwelleth no good thing.”
If we seek out times to focus on ourselves, believing that we will find rest and renewal within ourselves, we are believing a lie. The more we focus on ourselves the more we think about ourselves.
It’s like going to Target. Who comes out of Target with the one thing they went in intending to get? Seriously. We didn’t know we needed it, until it jumped in our red cart. The more you go to Target, the more you realize you need from Target.
The more we focus on ourselves, the more we will focus on ourselves and the less we will focus on those around us.
Over and over Scripture urges us to die to self (Titus 2:12, Gal 2:20; 5:24, Rom. 12:1-2). In Luke 9:23 Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.”
But as with so many things, the economy of God works completely opposite to the economy of the world.
Philippians 2:3-4 instructs us to put others above ourselves.
If you are a parent, you already know this. Once upon a time Christmas morning was all about us, but what joy to see Christmas through the eyes of a child. In Acts 20:35, Paul reminds of the words of Jesus, “It is more blessed to give than to receive”
As a mom, this can play out in the smallest of circumstances for me. If I’m making dinner and my kids are tearing the house apart, instead of trying to just keep them quiet or entertained, I can bring them close and have them help me. This does not always work out beautifully, I’ll admit…but more often than not, the joy they can experience helping far outweighs the “peace” I would have experience by pushing them away.
Feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Volunteer one day a month at a boys and girls club, a nursing home or a homeless shelter and see if it shifts your focus.
So, should we cancel our vacations and girls’ weekends and spa days? No, these things can certainly fall within the realm of renewing and refreshing our souls. They can allow us time to connect with others and encourage each other. We do need to be vigilant against the sublet lie of the enemy that focusing on ourselves will bring joy and happiness. However, as a whole, we could probably stand to focus on others more and ourselves less, trusting that when we give of ourselves, we will find the rest and joy from a deeper source.
How could you focus on someone else today?