It is January. That means packed gyms, new diets, and New Year’s resolutions. You either jump on the resolution band wagon or you don’t. Generally there aren’t many fence sitters to the resolution game.
I am a New Year’s resolution kind of a girl. I love a fresh calendar, a new year, a fresh start. Being a homeschool mom, my year operates more August-May than January-December, but I never miss the opportunity to set new goals for myself and January always feels like the right time to do that.
I pull out my journal, review the goals from last year, and set new goals in the following categories: spiritual, physical, intellectual, financial, practical, and relational. My zeal often leads to a long list. Every January it is a mixed bag of feeling accomplished over a few successful things and feeling discouraged over the long list of things I didn’t do. I don’t meet the resolutions for a variety of reasons from over ambitious goal setting to forgetting what resolutions I actually made. Many share my frustration. So are resolution and goal setting even worth it the effort?
Rebekah Lyons made a statement on Instagram that has reshaped how I look at this year. She said we should focus on rhythms vs. resolutions. With a resolution you get one shot to get a right, but with a rhythm you are focused on creating a new pattern that will build over time. Resolutions are unforgiving. Commit to go to the gym five days a week and if you get sick, the commitment is over. Commit to no desserts in January and one slice of birthday cake and the rest of the month is out the window.
But a rhythm feels different. Developing a new rhythm gives grace for growth. While it is true that goals need to be measurable to be successful, often we need to celebrate forward progress instead of criticizing every misstep.
Creating new rhythms also helps us think about what is important to us. If you want to have a body that can keep up with your grandkids, you don’t need a resolution to never eat dessert again; you need a rhythm of regularly moving and fueling your body well. If you want a clean house, you don’t need a resolution to Marie Kondo every space in your home, you just need a rhythm of putting everything in its place each night before bed.
We brush our teeth every morning without much fanfare. We shower every day without a sticky note to remind us. Once we build rhythms and habits, things are accomplished with less effort and less stress, leaving mental space for other things.
In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear gives a masterclass on building new habits and rhythms. After reading his book I made one simple change that has led to a new rhythm I’ve wanted for a long time – I moved the dental floss out of the drawer and onto the sink. Seeing the dental floss every day, and knowing dental health is important to me, has helped me finally build a consistent habit of flossing. Many times “flossing – this the year!” found its way to my resolution list, but it wasn’t until I gave myself thee grace to build a rhythm and made a small change to make that easier that I actually did it. Rhythms lead to lasting change.
This year I am taking time to think about what areas of my life are important enough to deserve focused attention on change. It requires more thought up front but helps me focus on lasting change vs random goals. I have a solid workout rhythm, so setting a goal to run a marathon wouldn’t be a good use of my time given my priorities and passions. What do I want to change and how can I articulate that into a rhythm that can be cultivated vs a menacing resolution that pushes me toward fear of failure? Those are the types of things going on the goal sheet for 2024. I still have some specific goals, like finishing the second draft of my next book, but the habit of setting regular writing blocks is the rhythm that will get me to that goal.
What rhythms do you want to build in your life this year?