Two Rules to Live By

I struggle with hard and fast rules.  I realize this seems totally contrary to the title of this post and my overall personality.  Left to its natural state my brain functions at two speeds: all or nothing.  Either I let the school room exist in a state of complete disaster (thank you three-year old boy) or the books are in Dewy Decimal order, lined perfectly ½ inch from the lip of the shelf.  The bathrooms are either “kid cleaned” or “mom with a toothbrush” cleaned.  I struggle anywhere in between.  I have had to put significant work into curbing this tendency because often there is simply not enough time for “all,” and families can’t function well in “nothing.” 

So, when it comes to rules to live by, I have to be careful.  If Jesus can narrow the entire Law into two commandments, I figure that’s a pretty good plumb line of how many my brain can handle.  

Rule #1 – No Yard Sales

I love a good deal and I try not to allow clutter to pile up in my home, so why no yard sales? The principle – I never want to accumulate enough unwanted stuff that would justify having a yard sale.  When you move every few years and literally have to find a home for every item you own, it pays to keep things as light and clutter free as possible.  I do this by limiting household purchases to stuff that we actually need, therefore reducing things that will one day end up in the donation bin.  Decorating with timeless fabrics and pieces and passing clothes down between children reduces some of our need to purchase new things.  This doesn’t mean I don’t shop, but it does mean I try to only shop with a purpose.  (Ok, I will admit it: I don’t love shopping anyway.) When we trek through stores like IKEA, we stick to the list, which is beneficial for the budget as well. Shopping less for ourselves allows us more resources to be generous to others.

Even if you love to shop and change decorations up often, this rule can still apply to you, you just have to be more diligent to not let things pile up. I keep two donation boxes in our house.  One for clothes and one for other items.  When the box is full, it leaves the house.  While I love to pass our kids’ clothes to friends if possible, I love finding an organization with a clothing closet for foster families.  For larger furniture, I use Facebook or Craigslist to get them out of the house quickly. 

When an overseas move and the “no more babies” stage hit our house at the same time, I will admit that I broke this rule and did a major purge.  Seasons change that bring about larger purges, but regularly having an excess of unwanted items could be a sign of a bringing too much into your home in the first place. 

Rule #2 – Don’t Buy New Pants

While I’ve already admitted my distain for shopping, even I must buy new pants on occasion! The principle – as an adult, outside of major life changes, the need for a new pants size is a warning sign.  (Hear me child-birthing age mamas – I’m not talking to you.  Birthing babies is a gift and one day you will be out of the yo-yo stage. Have grace for yourself and your body.) 

“We don’t buy new pant” is an often-heard mantra in my home inspired by my dad.  He’s sixty-four-years old and has worn the same size pants for my entire life. 

For most of us, if we are careful to put healthy food into our bodies and careful to carve out time to require physical activities of our bodies, this rule isn’t too hard to follow.  Please take these words with the grace that I give them – this is not a place of shame or discouragement.  There are multiple factors, including genes, that play into this.  This is just a guiding principle to say that for most of us, if we need to buy new pants, we need to ask ourselves why.  Do we want to allow ourselves to mindlessly and consistently move up pants sizes or do we want to stop and examine the habits that may be contributing? 

I hop on my bathroom scale every morning, normally under the rolling eyes of my husband. The daily scale reading can be brutal.  Scales, or even BMI tests, are tough critics – mercy and grace are rarely extended for small indulgences. Jeans, on the other hand, are like an old friend.  They give us grace but will give us truth when we really need it. They will forgive a milkshake or two, PMS or a few skipped workouts.  It is a decent plumb line for overall health and can be a reason for discouragement or celebration depending on your daily habits.  Ask any woman who has had a baby – it is a day of celebration when you can fit into your normal jeans again! 

These two rules hold me accountable in many areas of my life.  With just two, they are easy to remember, apply and teach to my children.  What are your rules to live by?